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Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009
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Sunday, December 20th, 2009
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utterpunk
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so decided to go back on the meds. they seemed to regulate my sleep schedule and I've noticed i'm bitchy 24/7 though it might be the absence of cigarettes in my life among other things. i've really not been in the mood to drink lately. I had a bottle of rum and in the first night drank half but it took me a total of 5 days to finish it. I'm very eh. I couldnt really care about anything. defiantly effecting my work performance. what to do? i'm still not sure yet. I'll probably enlist. I feel like i dont have a choice. i like really can't do this anymore. meh...i'm all broken
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(face break!)
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Friday, December 18th, 2009
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utterpunk
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4 down and im still in this hole
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(face break!)
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Thursday, December 17th, 2009
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utterpunk
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I've mastered the dance but now your gone, gone ,gone
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(face break!)
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Tuesday, December 15th, 2009
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utterpunk
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one week smoke free. actualyl easier than i thought. i ve already saved 42 dollars. practice wednesday. aaron quit though. navy recruiter thursday.
I never said I wouldnt hold you, I said I couldnt hold on, but you never really wanted to know.
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(face break!)
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Monday, December 14th, 2009
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utterpunk
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epic fail 0-4. three years. i give up. funny it took all my will power the other day to not go into the other lane. and when i was just about to roll my car going 60 in a 25 i slowed down. eh owhell. might as well get paid for it. thats my thinking of it. very chatty today i guess. i remember where i was. this day. i think people just dont try anymore. thats why divorces are so high. i did everything she wanted. too little to late. civil engineer. im going career. kyles not to happy about it. but she stands by my descisions. hard to believe my two best friends are people i havnt seen in years or at all. mias an auntie. her niece is so tiny. people always say something about my cupcake tattoo. its not a muffin. i dont like muffins. i have so much to give. an im willing to listen for a change. theres one chance but im not going to take it. funny how i feel like i can let someone down that i never dated. were both a hot mess. i should say something tomorrow. we'll see. we're all synapses looking for a connection. it feels silly now, to think that love can conquer all.
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(face break!)
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Sunday, December 13th, 2009
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utterpunk
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You know when your like " i think some one shit on the coats" but you know? well i think my hand has been broken for three weeks now. Its really cold out tonight. I cuddled hard yesterday. lot of whiskey involved. im doing good with the no smoking. dont really know what this girls intentions are. i'm leaving the ball in her court. im done chasing people around. she made my bed wich is pretty classy. . eh i dunno. i'm definatly sick of getting dicked over by selfish people. one day to go. i wonder if she remembers. i wonder if any of them actualy ever cared. i'm trying to get shipped out in febuary to wherever theyre gonna send me. playing the khyber. pretty stoked. two hours . three years. what have i done? fuck. i should say something. i'm good at keeping things to myself. cant remember her face but i still remember how she feels. oh and it was april tenth. sorry? maybe?
this is all in no particular order
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(face break!)
utterpunk
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| Time: | 4:16 pm. |
| Mood: |  confused. |
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don't really know what to make of last night.
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(face break!)
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Saturday, December 12th, 2009
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Friday, December 11th, 2009
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utterpunk
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3 days smoke free, four days sober and still mad as hell. 3 days. fml
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(face break!)
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bobbyonradar's Friends Page
accomplished.
contemplative.